Monday, October 13, 2008
caught blogging!!!
Are you bored by my non stop chatter,mister?Do you wish I would just stop talking?Do you wish you were somewhere else?Would you like to read something interesting?Would you like to laugh a lot?You would like to think a little,perhaps.You know where to go,don't you?Do you not know the way?Would you like me to take you there?Here,hold my hands,I'll take you there....
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Droh na!!!
Somebody please pay that Goldie Bhelpuri to stop taking movies and let us live in what little peace have.Mr.Tacky just called.He wants his mother back.Will the real Mr.Bhelpuri please stand up and do the honours?
A standing ovation to the quintessential Bollywood unoriginality,Drona is what you would call the mother of tackiness.No wonder then that Mr.Tacky is crying foul at Goldykins.What do you do when you have oodles of money to spare,no script of your own to read from and tons of scripts of other movies to choose from?You go and make a movie,of course,silly.
Lets face it,the movie is crap.There is no story to speak of and if at all there was one,nobody got to see it.The songs are good but that doesn't necessarily shield you from the flying jootis and tamaatars(unless its himesh crooning from the other side,making them jootis and tamaatars cringe and fall half way through their flight).The specials effects are passable, but nothing fancy there either.When the publicists shove the 60 or so crores bill of the movie on your face,if you tend to expect a bit more,well its your mistake.As for the plot,it is so mind numbingly boring and hollow that you literally want to break your head open and offer a half to Bhelpuri.The acting too is very amateurish save for that one scene where Jaya and Abhishek reunite(saved by Jaya,obviously).Tacky dialogues and scenes that make you cringe and fall back onto the seats claim what is left of the film.Each time the actors try their bit to sink into the character,Bhelpuri's script kicks them in the ass and sends them back to the surface.
Priyanka Chopra overdoes her role most of the time.Abhishek Bachchan doesn't know what he is doing in front of the camera and wishes for most part of the film that he were a bhelpuriwaala.What else could possibly explain this debacle of a show he has put through,after that incredible piece of acting in Guru.It is as if you have been caught red handed watching one of his initial movies,where he does nothing except sulk in front of the camera,throughout the movie.KayKay tried his level best to do away with what little was given to him but for the majority of the film his character makes you want to laugh whatever is left of your head off.Jaya Bachchan along with the few songs are the saving grace of the film and I am being very generous here.
Bhelpuri's picturisation of the movie's songs deserve a special mention because we strongly feel credit must be given where it is due.So here it is,take it.What do you do when you see a dog in your truck?You break into naach-gaana of course,complete with goras and goris(most of who look as if Bhelpuri got them off a yard sale).Oh!and just out of curiosity,what do you do after you have rescued a man from the clutches of an evil gang?You break into naach-gaana again,now with booty shake and wild beats around bull sized black men.Drona senior was so very lucky to have drowned in some well early on in the film.
I am listing out just a few of the very many attractions the movie has to offer and thereby tempt you to go and watch this masterpiece,in the rare event that you haven't already.
Whoever said great minds think alike probably had this in his mind.
.comic strips-courtesy-Marvel comics,thank you.
.starting scene-courtesy-Harry Potter movie,thank you.
.orphaned child,rude relatives,hidden powers-courtesy-every other fantasy novels,thank you too.
.rescue scene by Priyanka Chopra-courtesy-Arwen,LOTR,thank you.
.hooded black men-courtesy-LOTR,Harry Potter,thank you once again.(*groan*)
.throwing iron gates at random people-Goldie's own,thank you.(*blush*)
.invisible walkway scene-courtesy-Indiana Jones3,(*whoa!!big stuff huh?*) thank you anyways.
.springing steps-courtesy-that godawful movie Scorpion King2,thank you.(*screw you Goldie,giggles*)
.on top of train scene-courtesy-Dhoom2,thank you(*breaks into fits of giggle*).
.inside the train scene-courtesy-Mummy2 and Indiana Jones3,thank you(way to go Goldie!!)
.a totally rotten Gandalf-courtesy-Vatika hair oil,LOTR ,yo man Tolkien,you are the shit,cheers mate..(*hic*)
.writings on rice grains-courtesy-local exhibitions and trade fairs,thank you(*duh!*)
.rose petals that wipe your tears away-Goldie's own,thank you very much.(*cringe!!!shrivels up and dies*)
That is it,I can't do this anymore.Somebody please pay me for doing this.
On a parting note,the movie is what Himesh Reshammmiya would say"too good,superb,awesome,mind blowing,history....total history man" (*err..scratches head,bows anyway*)
Oh, and to boot it all,as if the brain damage inflicted on the poor unsuspecting audience wasn't enough,there is every chance of a sequel coming up(you took Goldie for a fool,now take that,you *pachak*!).
Somewhere out there a manic Bhelpuri is probably having the laugh of his life...sigh!!
A standing ovation to the quintessential Bollywood unoriginality,Drona is what you would call the mother of tackiness.No wonder then that Mr.Tacky is crying foul at Goldykins.What do you do when you have oodles of money to spare,no script of your own to read from and tons of scripts of other movies to choose from?You go and make a movie,of course,silly.
Lets face it,the movie is crap.There is no story to speak of and if at all there was one,nobody got to see it.The songs are good but that doesn't necessarily shield you from the flying jootis and tamaatars(unless its himesh crooning from the other side,making them jootis and tamaatars cringe and fall half way through their flight).The specials effects are passable, but nothing fancy there either.When the publicists shove the 60 or so crores bill of the movie on your face,if you tend to expect a bit more,well its your mistake.As for the plot,it is so mind numbingly boring and hollow that you literally want to break your head open and offer a half to Bhelpuri.The acting too is very amateurish save for that one scene where Jaya and Abhishek reunite(saved by Jaya,obviously).Tacky dialogues and scenes that make you cringe and fall back onto the seats claim what is left of the film.Each time the actors try their bit to sink into the character,Bhelpuri's script kicks them in the ass and sends them back to the surface.
Priyanka Chopra overdoes her role most of the time.Abhishek Bachchan doesn't know what he is doing in front of the camera and wishes for most part of the film that he were a bhelpuriwaala.What else could possibly explain this debacle of a show he has put through,after that incredible piece of acting in Guru.It is as if you have been caught red handed watching one of his initial movies,where he does nothing except sulk in front of the camera,throughout the movie.KayKay tried his level best to do away with what little was given to him but for the majority of the film his character makes you want to laugh whatever is left of your head off.Jaya Bachchan along with the few songs are the saving grace of the film and I am being very generous here.
Bhelpuri's picturisation of the movie's songs deserve a special mention because we strongly feel credit must be given where it is due.So here it is,take it.What do you do when you see a dog in your truck?You break into naach-gaana of course,complete with goras and goris(most of who look as if Bhelpuri got them off a yard sale).Oh!and just out of curiosity,what do you do after you have rescued a man from the clutches of an evil gang?You break into naach-gaana again,now with booty shake and wild beats around bull sized black men.Drona senior was so very lucky to have drowned in some well early on in the film.
I am listing out just a few of the very many attractions the movie has to offer and thereby tempt you to go and watch this masterpiece,in the rare event that you haven't already.
Whoever said great minds think alike probably had this in his mind.
.comic strips-courtesy-Marvel comics,thank you.
.starting scene-courtesy-Harry Potter movie,thank you.
.orphaned child,rude relatives,hidden powers-courtesy-every other fantasy novels,thank you too.
.rescue scene by Priyanka Chopra-courtesy-Arwen,LOTR,thank you.
.hooded black men-courtesy-LOTR,Harry Potter,thank you once again.(*groan*)
.throwing iron gates at random people-Goldie's own,thank you.(*blush*)
.invisible walkway scene-courtesy-Indiana Jones3,(*whoa!!big stuff huh?*) thank you anyways.
.springing steps-courtesy-that godawful movie Scorpion King2,thank you.(*screw you Goldie,giggles*)
.on top of train scene-courtesy-Dhoom2,thank you(*breaks into fits of giggle*).
.inside the train scene-courtesy-Mummy2 and Indiana Jones3,thank you(way to go Goldie!!)
.a totally rotten Gandalf-courtesy-Vatika hair oil,LOTR ,yo man Tolkien,you are the shit,cheers mate..(*hic*)
.writings on rice grains-courtesy-local exhibitions and trade fairs,thank you(*duh!*)
.rose petals that wipe your tears away-Goldie's own,thank you very much.(*cringe!!!shrivels up and dies*)
That is it,I can't do this anymore.Somebody please pay me for doing this.
On a parting note,the movie is what Himesh Reshammmiya would say"too good,superb,awesome,mind blowing,history....total history man" (*err..scratches head,bows anyway*)
Oh, and to boot it all,as if the brain damage inflicted on the poor unsuspecting audience wasn't enough,there is every chance of a sequel coming up(you took Goldie for a fool,now take that,you *pachak*!).
Somewhere out there a manic Bhelpuri is probably having the laugh of his life...sigh!!
quote of the day
"In bed,you do to your partner what you want done to you."-Sarah
If you are going to argue about the physical or biological improbability of what I said,forget it! :)
If you are going to argue about the physical or biological improbability of what I said,forget it! :)
where to?
:"Johnny,my dear dear Johnny,you are here,finally!!!!"
:
:"I have been waiting for you,all this time,Johnny.Oh yes!yes indeed."
:"I knew you would come,all along,you couldn't afford not to,you couldn't possibly disappoint a beautiful young lady,could you?"
:
:
:"Sit down,sit down please.Make yourself comfortable,I would like that too."
:"Would you like something to drink,some beer perhaps?"
:
:"No?Nothing?"
:
:"Don't tell me later that I didn't offer you a drink."
:
:"Can I tempt you with something to eat perhaps?You look famished,so painfully thin,they must be starving you there."
:
:
:"No?Nothing to eat either?You are sure?Sure you wouldn't like a bite of something,just something light,nothing heavy,I promise."
:"No?Nothing?Don't tell me later that I didn't offer you any food."
:"So,tell me Johnny,where have you been...for so long?"
:
:"I waited for you,you know?I waited and waited and waited forever.But you never came.They said you were murdered in a ship.Some of them said you had gone off to far away lands and some even went on to say you had ran off with some wench.But I refused to believe them.I knew you were somewhere out there,trying to get back to me and my heart told me you would return to me soon,I only had to wait."
:"So tell me,tell me Johnny,tell me all about it.I want to hear it from your mouth."
:"Where have you been for so long.Is there any truth in the rumours that so dutifully do their rounds around the town?Is there a girl,Johnny?"
:
:"Say it.Go on,don't hesitate.I can take it,it can't be that bad,can it?Of course it cant be,I think I already know it.Say it,Johnny."
:
:
:
:"Oh!"
:"Yes,yes,but of course,yes."
:"I knew it.I knew it the moment I saw you at the gates.I even told little Tabby here about it.Didn't I Tabby? But yes,that would explain a lot."
:
:"Yes,yes now I see.But how was it done.Ah!No,don't say it.I can see it,I can see it Johnny.
:Johnathan,why are you here?"
:"But then Tabby too?But yes she was with me all the time.Funny how I always thought she would end up somewhere else.End up,how very funny!"
:
:"Will you marry me,Johnathan?Will you,now?"
:
:"I have been waiting for you,all this time,Johnny.Oh yes!yes indeed."
:"I knew you would come,all along,you couldn't afford not to,you couldn't possibly disappoint a beautiful young lady,could you?"
:
:
:"Sit down,sit down please.Make yourself comfortable,I would like that too."
:"Would you like something to drink,some beer perhaps?"
:
:"No?Nothing?"
:
:"Don't tell me later that I didn't offer you a drink."
:
:"Can I tempt you with something to eat perhaps?You look famished,so painfully thin,they must be starving you there."
:
:
:"No?Nothing to eat either?You are sure?Sure you wouldn't like a bite of something,just something light,nothing heavy,I promise."
:"No?Nothing?Don't tell me later that I didn't offer you any food."
:"So,tell me Johnny,where have you been...for so long?"
:
:"I waited for you,you know?I waited and waited and waited forever.But you never came.They said you were murdered in a ship.Some of them said you had gone off to far away lands and some even went on to say you had ran off with some wench.But I refused to believe them.I knew you were somewhere out there,trying to get back to me and my heart told me you would return to me soon,I only had to wait."
:"So tell me,tell me Johnny,tell me all about it.I want to hear it from your mouth."
:"Where have you been for so long.Is there any truth in the rumours that so dutifully do their rounds around the town?Is there a girl,Johnny?"
:
:"Say it.Go on,don't hesitate.I can take it,it can't be that bad,can it?Of course it cant be,I think I already know it.Say it,Johnny."
:
:
:
:"Oh!"
:"Yes,yes,but of course,yes."
:"I knew it.I knew it the moment I saw you at the gates.I even told little Tabby here about it.Didn't I Tabby? But yes,that would explain a lot."
:
:"Yes,yes now I see.But how was it done.Ah!No,don't say it.I can see it,I can see it Johnny.
:Johnathan,why are you here?"
:"But then Tabby too?But yes she was with me all the time.Funny how I always thought she would end up somewhere else.End up,how very funny!"
:
:"Will you marry me,Johnathan?Will you,now?"
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
qoute of the day
"At the end of the day all that matters are the choos and not the benjamins."-Sarah
Agreed they are going to cost you a fortune but what is life without a pair of choos,huh?
Agreed they are going to cost you a fortune but what is life without a pair of choos,huh?
one wonders: thanksgiving anybody?
Why is a thanksgiving turkey called so? Is it because you expect the turkey to give thanks' around the table for filling it up the arse with god knows what and roasting it away to glory? Or perhaps you expect yourself and others around the table to thank the turkey for being such a good sport.Is that it?One wonders....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
